Oh, the Joys of the Carnie!

This is a repost from August 2007 about the horror that is the Marysville Carnival. I used to go to that thing every damn day when I was younger, but as you can see from the blog, my opinion has greatly changed.

The Joys of the Carnie

So I broke down and took the bigger little man to the Marysville carnival. Can I say I'd rather listen to 'Mmm-Bop' over and over all day long than go back there?

It consisted of a bunch of 13-year-old hookers in training and little Perry County thug boys that probably have never spent a minute in the ghetto, over-priced rides that sucked, millions of mayflies, and loud, obnoxious people screaming over microphones about picking the right coin purse. I got a coin purse right here for ya...

And now the new thing is making us park WAAAAYYYY out in BFE, in the dark, with no lights or security. Can you say 'mugged, raped and murdered'? I was honestly freaking out when I was walking back to the car at 10 o'clock at night with my son. I had my keys out and ready to stab anyone that came within arms reach.

Something that I never understood are the kids that come to the carnival to fight. What in the hell is that? If you're gonna fight, don't do it somewhere there are SECURITY GUARDS. What do you think that name means? They are there to secure and guard the public (except in the dark, scary parking area). Go to some (other) random parking lot and cut each other with your switchblades there. No one wants to deal with the drama except you.

Then there's always the ex-factor lurking somewhere around the fruit game stand. Thankfully, we steered clear and were not detected on his radar so no confrontations came of that. Didn't want to have to lay the smack down and get escorted out of the carnival and to the edge of the parking abyss by the security guards.

But the highlight of the night was the kick ass funnel cake Evel and I shared. It was melt-in-your-mouth yummy and delicious with the angel's dusting of powdered sugar. Totally not worth the trip, but good in the same. I just don't understand how my view of this overpriced nightmare was so different when I was a kid. I would BEG Nana S to take us, and she usually did...every..damned...night (I'm so sorry that I put you through that Nana S!). This just seemed like something was missing (maybe it was the large sum of money that magically disappeared from my wallet in the span of about an hour). 


I guess all of the "carnival magic" disappears when you grow up, kind of like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny (even though the fact that those kind of people were slinking around my house while I was sleeping always freaked me out, even if they were leaving presents behind). At least Evel had a good time...well, at least he did up until he re-experienced the funnel cake after taking a spin on the Merry Mixer. I think his carnival magic ended up on the concrete (or maybe that was just the cotton candy). Whatever it was, we left it there and hightailed it to the scary parking lot before anyone asked us to clean it the hell up.