Thursday, March 25, 2010

Ay Chihauhua!









So the damned wild pack of vicious mini fox terrier/chihuahuas are terrorizing New Buffalo again. My youngest sister (Trid) put the dogs out when she got home from school while the neighbors dogs were out. Trid is not the brightest crayon in the box so she neglected to stand outside and watch them like a normal person would do. She had Hannah Montana's on the DVR so she just let them roam, unleashed and out of control. It's not like they listen anyway, but that's beside the point.
Go figure, some guy decided to walk up our street to the neighbors at the end of the street's house. Please understand that we live on a dead end road with only 4 houses on the entire street. Each person has about 2 acres of land so it's not a very busy street. So this guy is walking up the street and the neighbors mini foxy/chihuahuas charged him. Of course, our dogs sensed the chaos and ran down to where the action was to protect the hill from imminent danger. The guy has been introduced to our dogs before so he turned and reached down to pet them. Our dogs let him but the neighbors dogs ran away and continued barking. The guy turned around and started walking when low and behold, one of the dogs bit him in the back of the leg. 
I showed up at my Mama's and had no idea any of this had happened so I put the dogs back in the house and went on about my business. My mom gets home from work and tells me that the guy that had been bitten went to the neighbors and told him what happened and insisted on seeing the dog's shot records. He pulled them out and they are up to date on their shots until '09. So we're scrambling to find our papers (mine were in the coffee table that my ex-douchebag took when he moved out) so I called the vet and asked them to pull our dog's records. 
Go figure, our dog's shots are no longer up to date. Apparently, since they were only a year old when we got their shots, they couldn't give them the full 3 year adult rabies shot. So in other words, their shots ran out last June. Oh great. So the guy shows up (with a baseball bat for protection from a 4.5 lb dog and a 10 lb dog) and my dad goes out and talks to him. All 3 kids are in a panic because they think animal control is going to come and take our dogs and put them to sleep. Thank god my dad is the greatest salesman on the face of the ENTIRE planet. He talked the guy into not calling animal control as long as we took the dogs to the vets within the next 10 days. 
So after my mom talked to the vet and they told us that we would have to wait 16 days to get the dogs there, my dad persuaded (a.k.a. guilt tripped) them into taking them in ten days sooner for shots and to have Mr. Ears' anal gland squeezed (disgusting in itself. i was unaware that this needed done. thank god my mom's a nurse or it would've exploded for all i knew). Basically, these evil little monsters are on quarantine in the house for the next 10 days to make sure they didn't encounter a rabid skunk or possum on their way to bite the guy that was walking. If they do, they'll be dead by that time anyway so no worries about them being put to sleep. 
I will admit that it was our fault because they were outside, off leashes, unsupervised. So their roaming days are over. The Mama and I are going tomorrow to get some running leashes for the backyard and we're looking into prices on invisible fences to keep "Mad Dog" Mr. Ears and Peanut "The Barking Taco" from claiming another victim.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Barbie is a Whore...Now Complete With a Credit Card!

I'm sure we're all familiar with Barbie, the bleach blond fashion icon that little girls around the world have come to know and love since childhood. Screw that.

I was watching Nickelodeon today (even though there were no kids in the house at the time. I have problems) and saw a commercial for a new Barbie set. It's called the Barbie Fashion Fever Shopping Boutique Playset. It's a boutique that little girls set up and can accessorize outfits and put them up for sale. Fine and good, teaching girls about running a business is great. But it comes with a credit card that Barbie used to 'buy' her items. The best thing is that (and i quote the commercial) "you never run out of money!" (youtube video is below). Okay, there's my problem. In the real world, you're going to run out of money unless you have a J-O-B and I'm sure you will all agree with me when I say that even then, most of us will run out of money at one point or another.

So how does Barbie have this magic card with no spending limit or is she more than just a silicone enhanced bimbo and actually holds down a job?

Over the years our 5'9"", 100 lb friend with the measurements of 36/18/33 (even though Mattel changed her measurements to be more 'realistic' in '97) has dabbled in a number of careers. Barbie has held at least 48 jobs (thank you Wikipedia) in her lifetime. Sounds kind of unstable to me. She has been a figure skater, president, vet, Nascar driver, fashion model, rock star, etc. Maybe she's saved up so of the dough she earned on these jobs? I doubt it with mega-purchased like a poon pink Corvette and a Malibu Dream House. But, my gripe is that 8 out of 10 little girls won't get to have these high powered jobs that come with an unlimited spending cap. Sounds like a recipe for credit card debt disaster to me.

Or maybe Barbie went to her sugar daddy Ken to hook her up with his black American Express card. But wait, Barbie left Ken back in 2004 to pursue a life of happiness, alone. So after shacking up with the poor guy and sucking the life out of him for 40+ years, she leaves him high and dry for a younger man, a boogie boarder from Australia named Blaine. But did she bat and eyelash as Ken sank into a pit of alcoholism and self-loathing? No she packed her bags and headed to Cali. Guess it doesn't matter since she got to keep the beach house and pink convertible since she was smart enough (oxymoron right?) never to marry Ken.

So to every little girl out there, please use caution when planning your life. Barbie is the devil.