Barbie is a Whore...Now Complete With a Credit Card!

I'm sure we're all familiar with Barbie, the bleach blond fashion icon that little girls around the world have come to know and love since childhood. Screw that.

I was watching Nickelodeon today (even though there were no kids in the house at the time. I have problems) and saw a commercial for a new Barbie set. It's called the Barbie Fashion Fever Shopping Boutique Playset. It's a boutique that little girls set up and can accessorize outfits and put them up for sale. Fine and good, teaching girls about running a business is great. But it comes with a credit card that Barbie used to 'buy' her items. The best thing is that (and i quote the commercial) "you never run out of money!" (youtube video is below). Okay, there's my problem. In the real world, you're going to run out of money unless you have a J-O-B and I'm sure you will all agree with me when I say that even then, most of us will run out of money at one point or another.

So how does Barbie have this magic card with no spending limit or is she more than just a silicone enhanced bimbo and actually holds down a job?

Over the years our 5'9"", 100 lb friend with the measurements of 36/18/33 (even though Mattel changed her measurements to be more 'realistic' in '97) has dabbled in a number of careers. Barbie has held at least 48 jobs (thank you Wikipedia) in her lifetime. Sounds kind of unstable to me. She has been a figure skater, president, vet, Nascar driver, fashion model, rock star, etc. Maybe she's saved up so of the dough she earned on these jobs? I doubt it with mega-purchased like a poon pink Corvette and a Malibu Dream House. But, my gripe is that 8 out of 10 little girls won't get to have these high powered jobs that come with an unlimited spending cap. Sounds like a recipe for credit card debt disaster to me.

Or maybe Barbie went to her sugar daddy Ken to hook her up with his black American Express card. But wait, Barbie left Ken back in 2004 to pursue a life of happiness, alone. So after shacking up with the poor guy and sucking the life out of him for 40+ years, she leaves him high and dry for a younger man, a boogie boarder from Australia named Blaine. But did she bat and eyelash as Ken sank into a pit of alcoholism and self-loathing? No she packed her bags and headed to Cali. Guess it doesn't matter since she got to keep the beach house and pink convertible since she was smart enough (oxymoron right?) never to marry Ken.

So to every little girl out there, please use caution when planning your life. Barbie is the devil.