Leave No Doubt, Evel! Good Luck To My "Baby Seal"

He hates it when I call him that.

Today is Evel's first Midget football game as a Selinsgrove Seal (go ahead and stalk me. It will make my life interesting). I'm all kinds of hyped up! He's been practicing his butt off in the heat and the rain and he's still sticking with it. I'm really hoping they do as good as our high school team did last year (2009 PIAA AAA State Champs baby!) so he'll want to sign up again next year. Suck on that, Susquenita Midget Football Association.

And yes, I am living vicariously through my son. Sue me. I wanted to sign up for football for as long as I can remember but nooooooo, football was too rough for girls. I was a girl when I was growing up? You sure could've fooled me on that one, at least until I was around 11 and started getting boobs. After that I had to tape them down to play in the neighborhood pickup game because the boys were afraid they would hurt me. Psht. They obviously didn't know that they were dealing with Poppi's daughter. I loved it.

Seriously though, I also hope they do well so it teaches him what teamwork can achieve (kind of a mute point if they lose all the time. then we'll blame the coaches). It seems like a good group of kids and the coaches are still in good standing with me (no children having passed out from heat exhaustion as of yet) so all we can do now is go to the game and scream like lunatics, i mean, support our son.

Go luck buddy! Let's go Seals White! Leave no doubt!

UPDATE:
They came, they saw, THEY KICKED SOME ASS! 39-0 baby!

Evel and his mommy

And the team pic is up on the site. Love it!

Oh, the Joys of the Carnie!

This is a repost from August 2007 about the horror that is the Marysville Carnival. I used to go to that thing every damn day when I was younger, but as you can see from the blog, my opinion has greatly changed.

The Joys of the Carnie

So I broke down and took the bigger little man to the Marysville carnival. Can I say I'd rather listen to 'Mmm-Bop' over and over all day long than go back there?

It consisted of a bunch of 13-year-old hookers in training and little Perry County thug boys that probably have never spent a minute in the ghetto, over-priced rides that sucked, millions of mayflies, and loud, obnoxious people screaming over microphones about picking the right coin purse. I got a coin purse right here for ya...

And now the new thing is making us park WAAAAYYYY out in BFE, in the dark, with no lights or security. Can you say 'mugged, raped and murdered'? I was honestly freaking out when I was walking back to the car at 10 o'clock at night with my son. I had my keys out and ready to stab anyone that came within arms reach.

Something that I never understood are the kids that come to the carnival to fight. What in the hell is that? If you're gonna fight, don't do it somewhere there are SECURITY GUARDS. What do you think that name means? They are there to secure and guard the public (except in the dark, scary parking area). Go to some (other) random parking lot and cut each other with your switchblades there. No one wants to deal with the drama except you.

Then there's always the ex-factor lurking somewhere around the fruit game stand. Thankfully, we steered clear and were not detected on his radar so no confrontations came of that. Didn't want to have to lay the smack down and get escorted out of the carnival and to the edge of the parking abyss by the security guards.

But the highlight of the night was the kick ass funnel cake Evel and I shared. It was melt-in-your-mouth yummy and delicious with the angel's dusting of powdered sugar. Totally not worth the trip, but good in the same. I just don't understand how my view of this overpriced nightmare was so different when I was a kid. I would BEG Nana S to take us, and she usually did...every..damned...night (I'm so sorry that I put you through that Nana S!). This just seemed like something was missing (maybe it was the large sum of money that magically disappeared from my wallet in the span of about an hour). 


I guess all of the "carnival magic" disappears when you grow up, kind of like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny (even though the fact that those kind of people were slinking around my house while I was sleeping always freaked me out, even if they were leaving presents behind). At least Evel had a good time...well, at least he did up until he re-experienced the funnel cake after taking a spin on the Merry Mixer. I think his carnival magic ended up on the concrete (or maybe that was just the cotton candy). Whatever it was, we left it there and hightailed it to the scary parking lot before anyone asked us to clean it the hell up.

College On the Horizon

I think it may actually happen, if I can figure out the enrollment process. But it looks like I'll be hitting the books next September. I've been looking into Harrisburg Area Community College, even though that's a bit of a hike for me, so I can attain a nursing degree (and then work insane hours and never get to see my family but make lots of money).

Yeah, nursing isn't my first choice. I'd much rather be a writer, but if I have a nurse's salary, I can probably afford to take creative writing classes in the future. God knows I like to hear myself talk (or should I say see myself type?) so that would be a dream job. And I have four novels started and this rambling excuse for a blog. Maybe then I could focus enough to finish one of the above. Nah, I'm an Aquarius.

Plus, I'm not too keen on the whole working around sick people aspect of nursing, being a slight germaphobe and all. And old people make me sad because I know that they're one station stop away from the end of the line. And sick kids are out because, well, they're kids...and they're sick. I hate needles so I probably shouldn't be giving shots or drawing blood (since blood makes me sick, too).

So let's see...that eliminates nursing homes, doctor's offices and hospitals. Wow, maybe I should rethink this nursing thing and do something a little more along the lines of my interests. I wonder where I could get a job as a wine quality control expert?

Seven Day Moving Diary

This in an old blog originally posted on December 8, 2008 on my Myspace page, which has since been deleted. It chronicles the chaos that ensued when Stephie and I moved into a house together. Hope it gives you a chuckle. 

The Seven Day Moving Diary 

Monday, December 1, 2008:

• Signed the lease and got the keys.

• Took Satan to pool match, took Mama and the kids to check out the new place.

• Had asthma attack due to musty, dusty air in house.

• Picked Satan up from pool league. Came back to house with Stephie, Ron, Shauna, Brian and Nick.

• Played Captain Dickhead with naked, 80's chick cards purchased from drunk biker in Horseshoe Bar parking lot.

• Brian: Ehshoosh me, I'm moffin. (English Translation: Excuse me, I'm talking).

• Satan: Steph eff herself.

• Brian couldn't get his pants up.

• End of night one.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008:

• Woke up at parent's house with eyes swollen shut from poor air quality in rental house.

• Packed all morning.

• Satan and Ron went to get ugly green (but very comfy) couches from his house.

• Dropped a giant box of books on my foot.

• Crammed the Jetta as full as possible. Safe operating weight limit exceeded.

• Unpacked car, watched Satan and Ron unload truck full of furniture.

• Went home for load two. Satan and Ron went to Hans' to get furniture.

• Trapped Kitty Kruger in box of clothing, have the scratches to show her feelings on the situation.

• Loaded Jetta again.

• Smashed picture with box containing computer. (*Note: Warn people of possible ass injury when riding in passenger seat of Jetta.)

• Slammed hand in car door while attempting to get it to close properly.

• Spent 10 minutes saying profanities and kicking car.

• Unloaded car at rental house. Watched Satan and Ron unload more furniture. Carried a metal bed frame into house to assist them.

• Loaded Jetta for the third time. "Supervised" Satan and Ron loading furniture from front porch.

• Removed cat from car.

• Actually helped move furniture into house. Drank a beer.

• Began unpacking and organizing while Satan and Ron went to Grandma C's for more furniture.

• Drank another beer. Or six?.

• Tripped over extension cord in bedroom and fell into dresser. Shower of picture frames. One casualty.

• Drank more beer.

• Don't remember much after this.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008:....

• Woke up in bedroom on a pile of clothing waiting to be hung up with severe headache. Air must be getting better, only one eye pasted shut. Slight panic arose until realization of exact location was established.

• Went to parents house to pack more and try to get through dirty laundry.

• Played around on myspace and facebook for two hours.

• Packed and did some laundry.

• Sat box of dishes on cat. More scratches and a bite mark made during rescue attempt.

• Loaded Jetta.

• Played around on myspace for another hour.

• Removed cat from car after an hour of being trapped inside.

• Unloaded Jetta at new house.

• Drank numerous beers and unpacked some stuff.

• Constructed bookcase out of 9 plastic milk crates and zip-ties. Books do not all fit on gigantic bookcase. Need more milk crates.

• Drove Satan to work. Went in and had a beer.

• Came home, drank more beer, unpacked more stuff.

• Made closet curtain out of fabric scraps, duct tape and safety pins after attempts to find a needle and thread proved futile.

• Kicked computer because of failure to upload pictures onto memory card for digital computer frame. Gave up and drank more beer.

• Satan and Ron went out.

• Put Evel and Shitbrick (my nephew) to bed.

• Made picture pin board out of giant mirror with missing frame, matting, fabric scraps, masking tape and safety pins.

• Wandered around bored for a while.

• Argued with drunken sister upon arrival home.

• Went to sleep on couch cushions over pile of clothes from previous night. Used stuffed chicken as pillow.

Thursday, December 4, 2008:....

• Woke up and opened both eyes successfully. No headache. Knew where I was.

• Unsuccessfully fought with computer some more.

• Showered and contemplated playing connect the dots with bruises on my legs.

• Graciously accepted potato chip delivery from Frito. Ate cookies and salt and vinegar chips for breakfast.

• Needed coffee, fled to parent's house.

• Did more laundry.

• Knocked myself unconscious when a large chunk of ice slid off shed roof and landed on my head after I opened the door. Went back into house for a bit to recover and stop the bleeding.

• Completely went through entire storage shed to find anything from numerous past moves. Prayed for no cave in of boxes and plastic lawn ornaments before beginning endeavor.

• Found speakers to convert into $300 end tables for bedroom.

• Found tote containing numerous sentimental items that were previously thought lost forever (yearbooks, Evel's baby photo album, numerous tacky vintage one of a kind items). Cried for 20 minutes.

• Rearranged entire shed for easy (and safe) access for anyone entering. (*Mental note: Good deed for year is done.).

• Loaded Jetta with clean clothes and goodies found in shed.

• Removed cat from car yet again.

• Showered again. Discovered new bruises.

• Unloaded car at new house.

• Passed out on couch for an hour. Dreamed of being attacked by spiders. Woke up abruptly. Still disoriented in waking when sleeping in any room but bedroom.

• Unpacked more boxes. Wrote reminder to grab hangers to hang clothing being used at temporary bed and grab pillow. Misplaced note.

• Went to parent's to get Evel's portable DVD player and a level, screws, screw gun, nails and a hammer to hang pictures.

• Returned with DVD player, level, screws and grilled cheese sandwich for Shitbrick. No hammer located within 10 mile radius.

• Hung giant Starry Night picture successfully. Still on wall.

• Tried to hang stolen POOL sign. Got bored. Put on top of hutch of dresser.

• Finally realized picture frames that had fallen were still on ground. Back in places. Cleaned up broken glass.

• Still cannot locate needle and thread. Called Hot Chocolate Daddy. He will drop some off for me.

• Fought with computer, yet again. No success.

• Satan and Hot Chocolate Daddy showed up with 3 wine glasses and a bottle of Cabernet. Realized how much I love them.

• Got wine drunk with Satan and Chocolate Daddy. Sore muscles are no longer bothering me.

• Satan and Ron went out to get 12 packs to play drinking games. Satan in exceptionally good mood.

• Satan and Ron did not return. Drank beer and read Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits. Scared myself shitless.

• Nursing headache from wine drunk; Satan and Ron returned to play drinking games.

• Played Captain Dickhead. Pwnd the n00bs.

• Went to bed on couch cushions and pile of clothes again. Chicken is still my pillow.

Friday, December 5, 2008:....

• Woke up at 12:30. Oops.

• Went to parent's house to work on massive piles of remaining laundry.

• Drank almost an entire pot of coffee.

• Separated good shoes from old shoes to give to Ross so Kolby doesn't eat the couches.

• Called about renters insurance. Contemplated "accidentally" leaving the stove on to collect payment.

• Drove Satan to work.

• Went to parent's and did more laundry.

• Showered and counted bruises on legs. More have appeared.

• Listened to Trid play "Smoke on the Water" numerous times on the guitar while getting ready for work. Felt like I was in an episode of Two and a Half Men. Would rather be Chinese Water Tortured than hear it again.

•  Was asked by Poppi if the garbage from shed was cleaned up. Said no. Got "The Look." Promised to clean it up tomorrow.

• Went to work. Enjoyed social interaction with other adults.

• Had employee draft(s) and spent time with Cafe Family. (*Note: Tell Kathy to check for gas leak or have mental stability testing for all employees.).

• Came home and drank more beer. Dani V stopped in.

• Was taught how to play DRINGO (drunken bingo).

• Tried to make Ramen Noodles on ghetto stove. One hour before water boiled to cook noodles for three minutes. (*Note: Nothing perfect about Perfect Pasta pots)

• Was taught how to style a Mohawk using clear school glue and a hairdryer. Very informative in case it ever comes up.

• Read more of the Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits. Waited to be attacked by a banshee.

• Slept in normal area. Chicken is still my pillow.

Saturday, December 6, 2008:....

• Woke up and got ready to go to parents to do more laundry.

• Backed car into mailbox post due to lack of coffee.

• Made it to parent's house with no more damage done to Jetta.

• Started laundry for the day.

• Stepped in dog poop. Yelled at dogs and cleaned it up.

• Contemplated cleaning up mess from shed; decided against it halfway to shed. Too cold. Could not feel my face.

• Showered and watched "I Am Legend" again. Slacked all day. Doing laundry.

• Instantly in bad mood after looking out window and realizing it was snowing.

• Got ready for work.

• Dropped clothing off at new house. Realized I forgot cel phone at parent's house. Used quarter tank of gas trying to get up their hill due to snow.

• Had to stop for gas. Roads are shitty.

• Drove 35 mph on highway with blinkers on. Surely pissed of numerous other drivers.

• Enjoyed more adult company at work. Took tables. Made enough money to get gas and cigarettes.

• Got text from Ron saying the children are starving. Made plans to stop and get pizza at Mr. Nicks.

• Stopped to get pizza, drank beer while waiting.

• Took pizza home, got ready to go out.

• Locked myself out of bedroom when bedroom door was closed while attic door was open. Cell phone locked inside.

• Gave up after attempts to use bent curtain rods, pasta spoons, fryer basket scoopers and screwdriver did not work.

• Left for West, Satan and Ron still trying to gain access to bedroom.

Sunday, December 7, 2008:....

• Gave up trying to get into my room and slept at Mom and Dad's

• WAS...NOT...GETTING...UP before I was forced to.

• Forgot Frito was bringing my bed and entertainment center. Pleasant surprise when I got home.

• Set up bed.

• Made lemonade.

• Didn't do shit else. I hate moving.

• Chicken is still my pillow.

Moebius Syndrome and Our Family

What a strange name for a diagnosis. Moebius. I still look at that and think of someone doing the robot dance for some reason. But anyway, this is Nutt's official diagnosis. I finally had my doctor write it down so I knew how in the hell to spell it so I could properly obsess over it via Google. Here's some sites and articles that I found so far if you'd like to familiarize yourself with this strange diagnosis:


The Moebius Syndrome Foundation - This seems like the "official" site with a lot of medical information and links to other sites.


The Many Faces of Moebius Syndrome - This seems like a more relaxed site with a lot of personal stories from people that have been diagnosed.


The Moebius Research Trust - This appears to be centered in the UK

The Foundation For Faces of Children - A brief, but comprehensive, overview on Moebius Syndrome and other craniofacial conditions that may affect children. Link takes you directly to the Moebius page.

10 Mystery Diseases You've Never Heard Of - This is from CNN Health. Guess what #10 is.

So there you have it. It's our prognosis. I guess we just have to wait and see if Nutt has any of the other symptoms that come along with it. Patience is NOT my strong suit.

The Old Nana S Just Ain't What She Used To Be

We went to visit Nana S today (and went school shopping at the AMAZING store called Once Upon A Child, but that's beside the point). I think she might be losing it a little. She's usually as sharp as a tack but she asked me who Nutt was about a million times, she thought Big Daddy was one of my exes and she had no idea who Tinkerbell was. Wow. This has got me freaked out.

I called the Mama a little while ago to ask her about this since she hasn't mentioned anything to me about it. Wow again. Denial is more than a river in Egypt...in the Mama's case it's a freakin' ocean. She said she didn't think it was that bad. Oh really? What if she forgets that she can't walk and falls while trying to get up? Or what if she forgets to turn off the stove? Yeah, it's THAT bad. And she also said it could be an infection that is causing it. Well, get her to the doctors and figure it out before it gets worse. Please!

I just hate the fact that my mom has to go through this again. We went through it with Pappy S before he died. Dementia and Alzheimer's is a truly horrible thing for anyone to have to go through. I could not imagine losing my memories and out of every fear that I have, I think this outweighs them all (well, maybe not those gross caterpillar things in the bathroom...but close). That's what made me pick up a camera and start taking pictures of EVERYTHING. Every little moment that I can possibly take a picture of is captured on film forever. If I start slipping mentally, I want them plastered on my walls like wallpaper.

It's a cruel way to go. You spend your entire life making memories to have them stripped away from you slowly when you actually have time to sit and reflect upon them. I can't even stand to think about it. But I guess it won't matter since I won't even know it's happening. Maybe our brains are supposed to short out eventually to make it easier to let go when it's our time. To just go gently into that good night. But if I know Nana, she's got a good bit of raging to unleash on that dying light before she goes. I will keep you updated.

Yearbooking Myself (and Others)

Jostens - Yearbook Yourself

I love this damned site. I had a whole album of pictures on myspace. In addition to the "Portraits" that you can create, they've added some other features like "Most Likely To..." and "Student Life" sections. You can also create up to 4 actual pages to print out and use as an insert for your own yearbook.

I'm just interested in humiliating my friends and family...

This one time, at band camp...

(Clockwise from top left: Stephie, me, Big Daddy, Renie, Dani V)

I am my mother's twin (eek!)

Oh yeah, I get to be the center!

(From left to right: The Jenna Jameseon blow up doll, Renie, Dani V, Stephie, Me (in the front, of course)

The prom King and Queen
(Big Daddy and Me, of course)

Shake those pom-poms bitches!

(Renie, Big Daddy and myself)

"Like, Oh my gawd Becky! Did you see her jeans? Total Calvin knock offs!"

Motley Crue rocks Big Daddy's world!

I'm fairly certain that this was an actual photo of me and Stephie from circa 1998.

Lizzie G lookin' good!

Stephie says, "Hey! Where's my hairspray??" 

Just Irene. I'll let the picture speak for itself. 

I think my Poppi may have actually had this haircut in high school...

Nice glasses. 

 My senior pic looked a little like this. Forced smile and stupid dress. 

Awwww, Stephie and Lizzie G - Most Scrumptious Couple

Poppi back in his footballin' days

You can tell this is fake because I would never ride in a car that Lizzie G was driving.

Sexy bitches. Rawr.

Nutt's One Week Update

Took the Nutt for his one week check today and he's growing like a weed. He's so far gained over half a pound and grew half an inch (probably because all this little kid wants to do is EAT). The doctor said that's excellent since we weren't sure how well he would pack on the pounds with having trouble sucking (but I should have known...he's his dad's son so he would have found some way or another to eat).

And I talked to his pediatrician about the MRI results that we were given in the hospital. It is cranial nerve VII that is missing, not cranial nerve VI. Apparently the attending that gave us the results at the hospital is a fucking tool and can't read Roman numerals well enough to give us the correct information about our son's condition, not that it's important or anything.

The pediatrician is also questioning why Nutt can close his eye when he sleeps but he can't blink it. She said he shouldn't be able to move it at all if the nerve isn't there. It's incredibly annoying and scary to have so many doctors look at your child and when you ask what is wrong or why this is happening and say, "Hmmmm, I don't know. Maybe it's because (insert any one of the numerous theories here)." These are good doctors but I just feel like they're not good enough for my son. I want answers, not possibilities.

 "The nerve will never grow but MAYBE other muscles will help him blink."
"He MAY need speech therapy when he's older."
"You need to prepare yourself for the POSSIBILITY that your son MAY NEVER SMILE."

Yeah, how cruel of a diagnosis is that? Never getting to see your baby crack a smile. Ever. It's like he'll be wearing a mask...well, half a mask in Nutt's case. So maybe we'll get half a smile? I guess that's a possibility, too. My final thought to all of you is don't take the little things for granted. Enjoy every smile or giggle that you get from your children because there are reasons (as small as one little nerve) that you may never experience it. Cherish it while you can.

Keep Your Noxious Gasses To Yourself

I recently had a baby. So in caring for the baby before it was born, I gave up every guilty pleasure that I had in life. No beer, no cigarettes, NO WINE (that one almost killed me). During this nine month cold turkey fast, I realized that I actually cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke. There is nothing at all that I like about it. It makes my eyes burn, it makes my nose stuffy and it makes me stink.

Non-smokers bitch about cigarettes and the effects of secondhand smoke. I have become even worse. I am a FORMER SMOKER. I am now the holier-than-thou-if-I-did-it-you-can-do-it-you-just-have-to-try ex-smoker. I know every fact and figure about how much Big Daddy and I are saving daily/weekly/monthly/yearly by not smoking and I now have a mental time line about how long it will take for my lungs to return to their original pretty pink healthiness. I want to punch myself in the face.

If you want to smoke, I'm obviously not going to stop you. I am fully aware that if I go into a bar after 9 PM, there are probably going to be people smoking and I will have to deal with it (fortunately my lust for draft beers outweighs my concerns with breathing clean air). But seriously, have a little common courtesy. Today I had a woman that may have been as old as Jesus himself light a cigarette and exhale her first drag directly into my face and the face of my week old infant. You miserable fucking hag. I wanted to punch her in the throat.

So when you see me pushing a shopping cart with my child's car seat perched on top of it into a grocery store, keep your fumes the hell away from us or I will snuff your cigarette out in your eye. I don't throw my baby's stinky diapers in your face so I would appreciate you keeping your gigantic cloud of arsenic and carbon monoxide out of mine.

I also yield to pedestrians in the crosswalks of parking lots. I understand that you were in a hurry to get to bingo and it is hard to see with a 7" Lady Misty hanging out of your mouth and obstructing your view, but slow down. Smoker's Express is open until 9 so you'll have plenty of time to get there and get your carton of smokes and lucky scratcher tickets.

You may not care about your lungs, but at least try to care about my son's. Keep your gas to yourself.

Run, Evel, Run!!

I have finally done it! I've peer pressured my oldest son into playing football! It took almost 11 years but I have succeeded! It took guilt trips and bribery but Evel made it through his first week of football practice (which is better than I would have done if they expected me to run around in this heat. I don't even like to expend energy breathing when it's this hot).

Maybe it's just me being biased because I am so excited to finally have a reason to scream like a lunatic once a week, but I thought he looked pretty decent at practice. But as usual, he's the smallest kid on the team. I guess that's how it works when the Old Skool's starting cutoff was before his birthday and the New Skool's is after so he's a year younger than every other kid in his grade. Poor kid. Always the baby.

The coaches have him practicing as a receiver right now so I have to resist the urge to yell, "Run, Evel! Run!," every time he catches the ball. But for being little, he moves his butt pretty good. It's always better to have him honing his talent running on a football field instead of away from the scene of a crime. They're going to be rotating him to a few different positions to see if he excels at anything since this is his first year.

That's not entirely true. This is his first year in New Skool's program. I signed him up at Old Skool's program when he was five. That was about as close to a living nightmare as I ever wish to come. I don't know if it was his age or the fact that some of the coaching staff on that program are complete ass clowns, but he hated it. And seeing 4 kids drop at one practice from overheating pretty much scarred him for life. After that it was like trying to force a drunken midget into my car just to get him to practice. I raised him to follow through with anything that he starts, but we quit after he threw his helmet out the window of my moving vehicle. He had drawn his line on this one and I was done trying to drag him across it.

I thought that was the end of football forever so I was shocked and elated when he said that he wanted to sign up this year. I was also a little terrified. Evel is now big enough to throw me out the window of a moving vehicle if he's sees fit. But after week one, he said he loves it. He likes to tackle people. Big shocker. And I met the coaches and they seem like pretty level headed people so we'll wait and see. If you don't hear back from me, check along routes 11/15 in central PA.

Nutt's iNursery Announcement

Introducing the Little Nutt! I love that our hospital does this!

Nutt's iNursery Announcement

Yes, you now know his name and all of his pertinent information. After a few weeks of being sleep deprived, I'll give some more out so if you really want a cranky, fussy baby that spits up all over everything, you can come pick him up.

Hurricane Nut Has Slammed Into Our Lives

So our wonderful little Peanut is here. My water broke at 4:30 AM yesterday and we headed to the hospital. After being here a few hours, I was given pitocin to move things along since I was basically running out of fluid and I wasn't contracting. After that, things moved along rather quickly. Our little "Nutt" was born at 11:15 AM. He was 20" long (even though Daddy is insisting that the nurse measured wrong and he is actually 21" ) and 7lb 8oz. He is one of the most beautiful things that I've ever seen. I love him so much that sometimes I feel like I could pop!

When he was born, the docs noticed that when he was crying he wouldn't close his right eye or lift the corner of his mouth on the right side. So after initial consults with a neurologist and an opthomologist, they diagnosed him as having facial palsy or paralysis from trauma to the cranial nerve VII on the right side of his face. I've been told that he could've gotten it from the way he was positioned in the womb, from the speed of the delivery or possibly from a stroke in utero. So right now we are in the hospital room, waiting on our beautiful boy to get finished with his MRI to see if there are any neurological issues or if it is just the nerve. He will then have to come down to NICU and spend 24 hours in there because he will be sedated for the MRI. So it looks like Mom and Dad are going to be in the hospital another night, too.

The good thing is that the nurses on the floor (and Mommy and Daddy) have noticed that he is now able to close his eye while he is sleeping and he has good suction when nursing from a bottle. The neurologist said that it is possible that the paralysis is semi-temporary and will get better with time. I am a firm believer that breast milk has been helping and I am pumping so he has colostrum waiting for him when he can eat again. 

I just feel really helpless right now and I wish that he was here with us. There have been so many doctors in and out that my head is spinning by this point. I will keep updating as I get info. We have to wait for a radiologist to read the MRI results before we will hear anything. Please keep our family and our little Nutt (or maybe I'll call him Popeye) in your prayers, no matter what religion you are. We love him so much and it doesn't matter if the palsy gets better or not, he is everything that we've waited so long for.

*UPDATE* 7:10 PM, 8/10/10
We were just in the NICU and Nutt is successfully feeding. I am so happy because they didn't know if he would be able to suck because of his mouth not moving very well. He's such a trooper! So as long as he can keep his feeding schedule going (once every 3 hours), they will be able to take his IV out and he will probably be discharged tomorrow. We will also hear the results of the MRI tomorrow morning when the attending at this hospital do their rounds. So I'm sure I won't sleep a wink tonight. 

I will update everyone once we know something. And THANK YOU ALL for your thoughts and prayers. I'm a firm believer that every little bit of positive energy that you are sending out is reaching our little Nutt and helping him in his time of need. Thank you so much!

*Update* 8/11/10

Well, we got the MRI results but I'm not sure exactly what they mean. We were  told by the attending that our son has a condition called "Moebius Syndrome." Whatever the hell that is, I have no idea. Our doctors have no fucking idea either. They just gave us this little baby, told us the right side of his face would never work and wished us luck. I've been looking around online and I'm actually scared to death about this disease (sorry this isn't a funny blog. I'm too scared shitless to even begin to crack jokes right now). There are so many other complications that can come with it that can cause death or that we might not know about right away. I am so afraid that every time I go into Nutt's room, he won't be breathing. I don't know what to do right now. 

We did get a call from a lady that works for a program called Early Intervention. I guess she's going to put us in touch with the Moebius Syndrome Foundation. I checked out the site a little online and I'm really hoping that these people can answer some of my questions. Like, are there different levels of Moebius Syndrome? Most of the kids I'm reading about can't move their eyes and their entire faces are paralyzed. Nutt is only affected on the right side and his eyes move just fine. He can also close his right eye when he sleeps but these people can't. This is such a strange thing to have happen, but I guess it's a fairly rare diagnosis. 

And the lady from intervention said it's considered a disability. I just keep picturing that little blue wheelchair hang-tag hanging from my mirror because my son is disabled. This is all so surreal. I feel like I'm in some kind of dream. I'm going to go do some more research and hopefully I'll get the packet that the Moebius place is sending me so I can get some answers. I just want to know that my little Nutt is going to be okay.